Hello everyone.
I apologize for my lack of activity for the past couple of months, but I was just so worn out about things and my future.
I decided that going directly to medical school may not be the best thing for me and my dreams, and I have been working to find out what is. Too many people are depending on my help now, and honestly, I want to do whatever I can now, but I do not want to regret when I can work really hard now to help them for a longer amount of time.
I have one more year of college left, and then it's off to either more school or the work environment. I think I know what I want to do, but these plans... usually turn out differently than proposed. I hope and pray that everything works out for the best.

Meanwhile, last semester taught me so much about writing that I may want to pursue it as an alternate career. My professor, Ms. Dulaney, was wonderful. Today, I helped someone with algebra and improper fractions over the phone, and the gratitude in their voice was so invigorating to my spirit.
I will continue to decide and find what it is exactly that I want to do.

I will be back soon-ish.

Today, I learned that a Harvard researcher, Nicholas Christakis, discovered a link between your own weight and the weight of your friends. Having an overweight friend increases the likelihood that you, yourself, are overweight. After discussing the research, the media (I forgot what network) made a point to discuss why America was so obese and what we should be doing to take care of ourselves. I think they then transitioned to health foods and vegetarian meals.

I say, "I think," because I made a different connection. While they link obesity and friendship, two seemingly exclusive topics, is this not evidence that we are more interconnected than we think? Is this not evidence for spiritual beliefs like karma, cliches like, "what goes around comes around," and even Newton's Third Law, "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."

It is like the ripple effect. We do not know who we touch, even with something like our weight, which we think is completely personal. This article just supports the belief that our daily impact means so much, and we should really watch and understand what we do. It is our responsibility to do so.

For the article: http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2007/03.08/09-obesity.html

This is not my creation at all; I found this image at www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/ and it spoke to me. (If you couldn't guess, it's a picture of Harry and Ginny, from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series.)

This is what love should be about. Support of learning, expression, feeling, closeness, promises - it just seems like the artist captured all those emotions, rolled them into one and drew this. It's unconditional, and it does not matter who you are, this kind of melding of hearts is something so beautiful it must be cherished. Love is not possessive, or jealous, or overly wistful. It is simply enough. I adore this representation.

All my life, I have been a driving force for change, only consciousness about this part of me was a slow realization in comparison to the eureka! type of awareness.

As a child, I took to education like it was my sea-legs: it was a part of me that I always had, I just never had the opportunity to explore it. With my parents' dedication and support, I learned how to read at eighteen months. At two years old, our neighbors invited us to a party, where I wanted to play a board game with "the big kids." They did not want to play with me, citing that I did not know what I was doing, until I read the rules to them. It awed the big kids, especially my neighbors' daughter. After that day, I tutored my seven-year old neighbor in reading.

I should have known how much I affect people then, but it never really occurred to me to make the connection. I can offer several bits of evidence, but they will only further the same end: people I came in contact with changed.

There is no clue into my nature at what perpetuates this change, I only know that it happens. People are nicer around me. They are able to open up and share feelings and emotions that I can sense are there, but not their causes. People surrounding me, those that I have worked with on a close basis, tend to perform better in competitions or even in tests. It is almost as if I am able to spark something in people, something that motivates them to reach their full potential.

For some, that full potential may mean being less violent and antagonistic, more sympathetic, and more active and striving. Now, knowing what I have (and what a gift it is!) I want to take a more active role in it. Instead of having the grace to know who needed what and how, I now work to discover.

I know that with my gift my life is not meant for the backseat. My whole self yearns to be the one behind the wheel, and that is why for me to choose a medical profession I feel it is such a big deal. The medical field is the only place where you are allowed complete access to a person's mind, body, and heart. For a person who revolutionizes lives, what other place has a chance to come close to offering that?

I will be a surgeon; I am not sure what kind yet, but the fields of emergency medicine and pediatrics look appealing. Still, I have to finish my undergraduate degree and then be accepted into medical school. It is my sincerest hope that with my dedication and achievements, some school will sponsor my future.

It makes me genuinely happy to know that Zaadz is a community whose ultimate goals coincide with mine. It is not only a retreat here, Zaadz sponsors growth and awareness. Wonderful.